Selected Laws of the Natural Universe

Do any of these every happen to you?

1. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you’ll have to visit the rest room
2. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
3. Law of the Telephone – When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
4. Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
5. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Bath Theorem – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
7. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
8. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
9. Theatre Rule – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle are the last to arrive.
10. Law of Coffee – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
11. Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
12. Law of Location – No matter where you go, there you are
13. Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you’re talking about.
14. Wilson’s Law – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.