you are the Ben Gibbard in my life

it's good to know that i can still lay awake at night and feel the bittersweet i used to feel in my youth. to hear a song that is so beautiful that it bends my heart. I am growing older and i find myself reminiscing once again. I remember the public journals I used to send to my friends before there was blogging. i felt like i had something to say to you that was important. I had to be heard in all my quietness and my desire to be unique. to let you know that there is a reason that you are here and that I am more because of you. i would gauge my life by the number of meteor showers I spent watching with you in open fields beneath flannel blankets in late november. i can still see the fog from our breaths. All I can think about is the white windmill in Colonial Williamsburg, and the tortillas at Ted's Escandido, you pushed me up a mountain in Mexico, and gave your support to me to go. You drove cross country to see Dave Matthews with me and let me stand next to you on your wedding day in the Houston heat. You shared your smokes with me on late night runs to Taco Bell and let me sleep in your bed when the depression was really bad. You cried with me in the lake house when I told you I was moving. You prayed for me on Old Main lawn in the middle of the night. you made gravel angels with me in a Hinson Cul de Sac, and let me ride with you through mississippi to a hard alabama weekend. you were my chauffer freshman year when I had no car and bought me lunch went I couldn't afford it. You shared your tranlating skills when I couldn't understand and you help me become the man I am today. You were spontaneous and travelled to Baton rouge with me and streaked down the fayetteville train tracks with me because we couldn't think of anything better to do. You made Williamsburg feel like home and you and you let me live in your guest bedroom when I was evicted 2 months before the wedding. You make poker night a thing I will remember the rest of my life and you calmed me down over lunch at the Brew Pub when things got scary. you invited me to go camping with you and let me play gettin jiggy with it at your wedding reception. you let me beat you at halo and you sang worship in my wedding. you prayed for my job situation when I knew you were struggling with yours. You are the men in my life that I am more than grateful to be brothers with. So thank you Brett, Stu, Cox, Hunton, Snider, Rainey, Eoff, Brian Lewis, S. Steger, JLP3, Kio, Ro, Rowley, Dad, Lafe, Noj, Phil, Tucker, Dasun, Rock Star, J lo, Wagner, Miller, Cass, Harper. I was just thinking about you tonight. I thought you should know.