mid-year resolutions

i'm always reluctant to do this sort of thing. i don't know why that little "guard" goes up...i think it's time to re-train that radar. i haven't been very good at keeping a journal lately either. so here are my three "mid-year resolutions:"
1. Lighten up. i'm too tense about things. andrew and i had a conversation about "possibilities" a few weeks ago. i have realized that i err on the side of caution even when it comes to dreaming about things because i just don't want to get my hopes up. i know what's real, and i know what's true. i am more rational than emotional, but that doesn't mean i can't have a little fun. i want to be more open to possibilities that seem out of reach. i want to be seen as consistent and reliable, but not at the expense of my family and friends. and i know fear keeps me from trusting...so i just need to LIGHTEN UP and learn to have a little more faith.
2. Get out. i live in one of the most beautiful places in America, but i stay inside too much. yeah, yeah, there are bugs and mosquitos...but i can't let it keep me in. i want to enjoy nature...actually ENJOY it. so i'm going to start walking or sitting outside to read, etc. it's too pretty to stay inside.
3. Open the doors. in college i went out to lunch or dinner with friends because i never really considered my home really home. therefore, the place to be "hospitable" was at coffee or dinner. the down side of this thinking is that i never opened my home to people, and i never took responsibility for entertaining or being truly hospitable. so...i want the obvious place to have people to be my home. whether it's small or large or clean or cluttered shouldn't matter. i want to take responsibility for letting my friends and family know how special they are to me. my heart is to serve and cook and entertain...so what's holding me back? nothing. (plus it's more incentive to keep the "house" clean!)


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